Hoovering

I don't really like like hoovering, but I have come to regard it as something of a spiritual experience. Particularly the stairs. I have convinced myself that in a feng-shui kind of way, hoovering the stairs represents cleaning the path between the downstairs (the everyday kind of stuff) and the upstairs (the spiritual, where am I going kind of stuff). Now I don't know whether this is true, but it works for me and makes doing the hoovering seem a more valuable activity.

Today I was feeling ratty all day. I wasn't sure why, I was just irritated. I wanted to be left alone. I put this down to coming to the end of a week's annual leave, but somehow that didn't seem quite right. I've had a good week, I've relaxed, spent time with Steve, had more time for James and Matthew, had time for me. I should be feeling better not worse.

Things came to a head when James sat down to do his homework. Homework is often a battle. I seem to be able to go from a pleasant, rational person to a screaming maniac within a few minutes. There's something about James and his homework that really pushes my buttons. The ironic thing is that most of the time, when I'm not hovering critically over his shoulder, he produces very good homework, but as soon as I'm there, guiding and supporting him, he becomes increasingly recalcitrant, and I become infuriated, but also confused. Why does it always seem to end up like this?

So after today's screaming match (well it's not really a screaming match, I scream, James just lolls) I decided to do the hoovering. I was so angry I couldn't trust myself to go near him without saying or doing something damaging. And it was whilst I was hoovering the stairs I had this thought:

I look at James' homework and it fills me with ideas of how it could be done. The history of Newent school. What a challenge. I could write about the building, or the uniform, the people. How long has it been there? What was it like? How has it changed?

I want to write that assignment. I want to create a brilliant piece of writing. I want to research and investigate and write.

That is what is at the route of my anger. I want to write.

The words that I am screaming at him, I am actually screaming at me.

"Just do it!"
"It's not difficult"
"If you just got on with it"
"JUST WRITE SOMETHING!"

Ever since I was about James' age, I suppose. I wanted to be a writer. When I was 9 I loved projects that I had to research and write. When I was 11 I used to try and copy my favourite books out by hand. When I was 12 I remember delighting in a piece of work where I had to precis a piece of writing and put it into my own words. When I was 14 we had to write about which jobs we would love and which we would hate. I said I wanted to be a journalist. I said I would never want to work in a bank, be a secretary or a nurse.

I left school at 16 to work for Lloyds Bank.

After 9 months I left and worked as a secretary.

When I was 19, I trained as a nurse.

I think there's a reason I get so angry when James doesn't want to do his homework and I don't think it's anything to do with him.

It's been a while.............

I must confess, I haven't been a reliable blogger of late. Months have passed without a single original thought being committed to screen. Blogger's block, I guess.

I could sit here and think about the reasons for this, but actually I think it's just one of those things. Blogging, like a lot of other things is a discipline and you've just got to do it. Regularly.

If you don't, you run out of ideas.

I am going to make a commitment.

I am going to blog. Regularly.

How regularly, I hear you ask?

Well let's think........

Mmmm, daily may be unrealistic.

I do have a life you know.

And children. I've got to spend time with my children.

And a husband. He needs a bit of attention.

And a mother.

And friends.

And a cat. Well she's not much trouble, can't use her as an excuse.

And a job. Oh my God. The job. I'd forgotten about the job. Now that takes up lots of time. I remember now. 4 days annual leave and I was beginning to remember what it's like to have free time again. OK the job could be a slight problem.

I could give up the job and become a professional blogger. Nah! I quite like my job.

OK taking into consideration the children, my husband, my mum, my friends, the cat (who's not much trouble) and the job I think I could realistically commit to.............

Oh hang on a minute I've forgotten my gran. She's got alzheimer's. How could I have forgotten her? Maybe it's catching. Yes she sometimes takes up a bit of time. Maybe I could just send a digital recording round to her "you're 86" "it's Tuesday" "you're 86" "November" "you're 87 next birthday" (just for a bit of variety!).

OK after I've spent quality time with the children, my husband, my mum, my friends, the cat, my gran and been to work that would leave time for about 1 quality blog about every 6 months.

Yep that's it, regular blogging starting from now. Check back in May 2010, to see what literary masterpiece I've managed to produce.

Don't believe everything you read in the papers!

I'm not often one to be outspoken on political matters but I'm afraid I can't contain myself any more on this. If you are reading this in the UK, you will be very aware of the 'expenses scandal' that is hitting the headlines on a daily basis. If you know me you will also know that my uncle is an MP. Having conversations with Adrian about this has given me a different perspective than the one I might of had if I had been relying solely on what I am told by the media.

For example, this was reported in the Guardian Online:

"Here's a wonderful spot by Pigsaw — the Adrian Bailey, the MP for West Bromwich West, claimed for £160 paid to Solihull Tanning Centre.

Don't worry, readers, it offers "unrivalled quality and performance with the most revolutionaly, high quality equipment the industry has to offer" and was clearly essential to Bailey's work with his constituents".

This came as somewhat of a surprise to me, as Adrian is undoubtedly the fairest skinned member of our family, and when I last saw him a few weeks ago, he was still that way. It turns out that the person who read this and reported it to the Guardian, should probably look a little closer, the expense claimed was perfectly legitimate and actually paid to 'Solihull Training Centre'!

We've all had a good laugh at the prospect of Adrian spending hours on a sunbed, when he is in fact someone who is constantly on the go, and the person least likely to be found sunbathing. However, there is a serious side to this. Rumours, unlike suntans, don't always fade very fast.In the media frenzy that is surrounding this issue, it is likely that people will read this, and believe it, and tell other people, who will also believe it because it's what they want to believe, that politicians are all corrupt and on the take.

I think we all need to ask ourselves, if we were in a job which required us to spend half of our week away from our home and families, in which our employer told us that it was our right to claim for the expenses of running a second home, could we in all honesty say that we wouldn't do it? I think that most of us would.

The differences in what each politician claims are probably more to do with where they sit on the social ladder than anything else. Just like in everyday life there are some people who think they can't live without a flat screen TV and others who would regard that as the height of luxury.

The thing that needs fixing in this whole mess, is that MP's need clear guidelines, that the public find acceptable, on what can and cannot be claimed on their expenses.

I have known Adrian Bailey for 37 years and this I do know, he is a politician because he believes in making a difference and not because he's in it for the money or the perks.

100 lifetime goals

I can't remember if I've posted my lifetime goals on this blog before, I think I may have done and then taken them off again. Anyway, here they are. The more observant among you may notice that there are only 32. That's because I'm still thinking............! They are colour coded in a way that makes sense to me and would probably be quite boring to anyone else, but I will just say that those in green are the ones that I have achieved.

1. Climb a mountain
   
2. Walk the Severn Way with James
   
3. Travel by road from Peru to Canada
   
4. Go scuba diving with Matthew
   
5. Do a rock climbing course
   
6. Own a Mackenzie Thorpe limited edition print (or original!)
   
7. Grow my own vegetables
   
8. Own some dancing shoes
   
9. Join or start a book group
   
10. Renew my wedding vows
    
11. Keep a diary/scrapbook for James and Matthew
    
12. Bury a treasure chest
    
13. Do one thing just for me every week
    
14. Create a peaceful home
    
15. Run a marathon
    
16. Go to the Glastonbury Festival
    
17. Do a sky dive
    
18. See the Northern Lights
    
19. Walk the Cotswold Way
    
20. Travel through the Norwegian Fjords
    
21. Climb Honeymoon Rock in Namibia
    
22. Walk the Gloucestershire Way
    
23. Go on a canal boat holiday
    
24. Swim a mile
    
25. Hold a games night
    
26. Knit a scarf
    
27. Take a pottery class
    
28. Write a book and get it published
    
29. Own a piano and learn to play it
    
30. Volunteer to work with the homeless on Christmas day
    
31. Plant a tree
    
32. Achieve 21 days without complaining or gossiping
    

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Joy

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Joy

Joy is getting into bed with my husband each night, and waking up with him each morning, after 15 years of marriage. Joy is Matthew who comes into our bedroom in the morning and climbs on to the foot of our bed and curls up there while he is waking up. Joy is James who leans against the radiator and tells us of his night-time adventures. Joy is my mum who always seems pleased to see me. Joy is my friends who enrich my life.

The Mom song

Change the world